Read this only if you wanna know whats been going on with me, but i warn u this is probably long and boring as fuck. OKay never mind this is a fucking essay, go ahead and read if you want but it really isn’t so much worth it.
So earlier in the week, I find out that I have to find another job or else i might be heading back to sd sooner than i think. And then later on I find out that either someone stole my CTA pass (public transportation) from my wallet or i somehow lost it which is weird but sucks ass cuz i gotta pay either 50 or 90 for a replacement which i really don’t want to:/ then i remember that my monthly payment is coming up soon and find out that i don’t have enough to pay for it so I have to ask my bro for money which btw i hate asking ppl for money! So i do that and start looking and applying more than i ever have b4 for a second job. But i’ve been so busy with school, running, study hall, and work that I don’t even know how i’m gonna fit that in, as if i wasn’t losing sleep as it is! Money is a bitch and the struggle is even worse.
I’ve been so extremely busy and i feel so bad because I’m doing a terrible job of keepin in contact with ppl cuz i have barely any time to myself and when i do, i just wanna relax; I can’t even get on facebook for 2-3 days at a time; Ppl just get mad at me cuz they think i’m just ignoring them or just dnt care cuz i’m “living the life” which is bs, i’m just swamped. I’ve written 14 essays in the past 3 weeks and i have 3 due soon which sucks cuz i’m losing all creativity and hate staying up till 2-3 in the morning which always happens which brings me to my recent shit
before that (u can skip this if you want): so i had to go pick up my bib for my hot chocolate 5k that i signed up for earlier and had to go out and get it or else i would be out $50! So i was supposed to go with my two teammates but i could not get into the bathroom (roomate taking long ass shower) so i cud change and took too long and they had to leave me which sucks cuz i don’t have a printer for the email i had to print out and did not know wer it was. PLUS the packet and bib/jacket pickup ended at 8 and it was already 6!!! So i was fucked so i rushed downstairs to print my email but i only had 20 cents on my printer card so i couldn’t print it cuz it was 5 pages. btw its hard to think straight while rushing. So i finally came up with the idea of just printing out the first 2 pages (10cts. per page) and looked up where it was at, union station 210 S. Canal, take blue line (subway) to clinton then walk half a mile… got it, lets go and hurry. I rush out in 30 degree cold weather but dressed appropriately and go to the subway to find out…..i can’t find my CTA pass. I’m screwed looking but i tell this black security guard who could tell i was stressing (it was 6:30) and he let me thru to take the blue line. wat an angel. So i go out and see my teammates heading back from union station so i know i’m good, (btw i have terrible sense of direction) and i find the station and i get my bib and jacket. Great:) so i look around..blah. THEN i start to head back to my dorm..but i don’t have my CTA pass and this lady wouldn’t be nice like tat security guard was and i end up having to walk back! which sucks ass so i walk back in the coldest weather me myself has experienced. Cold as fuck and don’t really know my way around chicago, i take the extremely wrong way adding another mile and a half to my walk but whatever i make it back, eat, and prepare for sleep.
I go to sleep early the night b4 my race (hot chocolate 5k) so i can run well. I hit the bed a little b4 10 and don’t sleep till 2!!! Yeah i know its hard to change your sleepping pattern but i tried and it didn’t work. So i set 3 alarms 6:10, 6:20, 6:30 cuz my race starts at 7:30 but i was gonna meet my teammates at 7. Turns out the next morning either my phone alarm doesn’t work or i’m just an extremely heavy sleeper cuz i end up not waking up. I wake up at 8:10 cursing every word in the book. I’m so mad at myself and what sucks even more is that i hit the bed early and skipped a hangout friday night to sleep and i STILL woke up late. i’m definitely not a morning person….:( god i hate my life….but i’m used to bad luck. So instead i dress up and rush out the building with my keycard id and phone and run as fast as i can to where the race is being held. I get there, and it turns out the 5k i signed up for is ending:( FML anyways so i see ppl finishing and i decide i might as well get my chocolate fondue and hot chocolate drink…….but then i see a huge crowd going toward a start line and remember that a 15k was going to be run….they started about 10 mins b4 i got ther but ppl were still walking to cross the starting line to start running cuz of how crazy crowded it was…so i was like fuck it, i paid $50 for it, i better run. I jump the fence and join the other 26,000 runners for the 15k w/o stretching, drinking water, eating, using the br, or even washing my face. I hide my keycard id and phone in a what i think is a pretty good hiding spot if any, and start running 6.3 miles more than what i signed up for. So i’m running and weaving in out of sooooooooo much traffic (slow runners) and becuz of that i cross the first mile in 9 mins. But i speed up more and more and weave in & out of thousands of runners and i musta passed 19,000 ppl at 7 min pace and finish the 9.3 mile race in 1 hour, 10 minutes (handtime cuz the electronic was 18 minutes when i crossed the starting line becuz of the crowd of sooo many chicago runners). I’m happy cuz i still got my race done and made my usual bad luck into an opportunity to run a 15k which i have never ran in my life. So I go to retrieve my keycard and phone and….ther not there. I go to lost and found but that was no luck:/ So yup, my bad luck gets worse. I lose my $25.00 id and my $200 phone which i had to both replace twice cuz they broke.
Pissed as fuck, i get my chocolate and head home; which i can’t get in so i use my second to last lockout and i go to email the race organizers like the lost and found told me to and i end up finding out that my Sallie Mae college tuition payment plan took out the $934 payment out of my account a day early with me only having $455 in my account waiting on my bro to lend me the rest and i get an additional overdraft fee of $35 from bank of america. So now i’m about to have no money at all and have to pay for essentially a $90 replacement CTA pass, ANOTHER $25 keycard for my room and i have to cancel my phone and get a new one….only to find out that Verizon is closed today and the racing organization is closed till tuesday. FML once again, god is punishing me for my sins and i get it but fuck i’ve had enough fucking trouble in my life.
This is starting to be a bad look for me, i got shitloads of hwk, no laptop; shitload of payments, no money; gotta get a second job, no time; and i have to reorganize another fucking even harder time management schedule, with no time. And without my keycard i can’t eat or leave my room. FUCK THIS. i wanna cry, i kno tht sounds gay but fuck man i need something to relieve me. But i cant cry, idk y but i can’t. I gotta be strong but tht doesn’t help me at all. I can only write this, its not particularly for my friends to read but for me to vent so that i don’t break down and give up. Don’t worry, i’m a strong person, i’ll get through this and everything will be back to normal which is actually still pretty stressful. Its hard to be independent, and i hate asking for help but I will in desperation. Fuck it